Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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