do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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