There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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