Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize