What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Come see our sink grown plant.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
