i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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