just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize