Porn is love you can see.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
