I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
