weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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