Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
