And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
