Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
