you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
