I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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