I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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