Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
