i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
