filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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