I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
