Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
