He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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