scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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