what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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