just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She bit a glass in half.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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