shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
