seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
