He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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