Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
