I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize