Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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