She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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