let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
