Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize