i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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