I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
