Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
