I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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