what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
