420 ftw
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
