I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
