she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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