Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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