Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
