He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
