come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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