did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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