i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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