Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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