Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
