Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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