sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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