is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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