Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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