you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
