I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize