Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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