whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
