I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
