I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
