I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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