Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
