Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
