let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
