I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
