shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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