weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My feet surprised me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
