ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
