Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
