Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
