god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
