Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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