I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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