are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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