She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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