her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize