Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
