i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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