She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
