an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just found puke in my bra..
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
