what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
