thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
