He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
