I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
