i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
